He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
