I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
