To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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