Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
