im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
