me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
