My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
