As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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