I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize