Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
