do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
