shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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