Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
