At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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