ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
