We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
