I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
