I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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