I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
