You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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