About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
