Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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