my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize