woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
