ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come share oat with me in your robe
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
