I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize