just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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