Got a toothbrush?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
