i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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