...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize