Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
