she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
