I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
