Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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