Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
