I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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