:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
