But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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