He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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