just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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