So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
