hell yes lets make some ravioli
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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