I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Olympian is in my bed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
