Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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