dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
