normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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