i love accidental penises.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
