so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
