Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just high enough for therapy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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