so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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