There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
