My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
