Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
