I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
