Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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