you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
