dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
