So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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