But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
