Christians are straight up FREAKS
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
