I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
