It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
