You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
