walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize