Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
